Im Just Sick And Tired Of Everything Now...
He Simply Doesn't Care Anymore...
I Feel That To Him I'm Just His Free Maid...
Nothing More...
Only That The Difference Between Me And Real Maid Is...
Real Maid Get Paid I Do Not...

When I'm Sick He Doesn't Even Bother...
Nv Even Ask If I'm Ok...
When I Reach Home He Never Even Bother To Talk To Me Or Even Look At Me...
When I Do So Much Things He Don't Even Appreciate...
Only Complaints And More Complaints...
Things I Did For Him Is All Rubbish And Nothing To Him...
Things Happening In His House Everything Also My Fault...
I Always Get Blamed For Nothing...
He Never Even Bother To Side Or Help Me When I Got Blamed For Nothing...
He's Stressed But I'm Stressed Too...
Did He Care Or Understand?
Im Tired Too But Did I Complain?

I Totally Dislike People Coming Into My Room Like It's Their Own Room...
Even Though It's His Family Members...
I StilL Think That My Own Room Is My Privacy...
I Don't Like The Feeling Of Pple Coming Into My Room Without My Consent...
His Bro Keep Coming Into The Room To Use MY COMP...
And Messed Up My Table With His Cigg Ash And Never Even Bother To Clean It Up...
When I Get Home I Still Have To Clean Up Etc...
I Really Get Sick And Tired Of It...
Sometimes His Family Member Just Come Into My Room To Get This And That...
Even If It's His Family...
Hello U Like It If I Go To Ur Room And Touch Ur Things Without Consent?
Summore I Got Alot Things Inside...
They Want What Things They Cannot Buy Themselves...
If They Treat Me Well Like I Need What They Help Me Still Ok...
But Cummon...When We Needed Help Where Are U All?
When U Need Help Y Shld I Help?
When I Need Things I Ownself Buy...
When U Need Things I Have To Pass U And Next Time Buy Myself?
Ur Money Is Money, My Money Not Money Mehs?

When We Needed Help Who Helped Out Everytime?
It's Always My Family People...
Who Gives A Damn About Us In His Family?
Den What My Family Get In Return?
NOTHING!
Ask Him To Pei My Family Out...
Always Fulled Of Excuses With I'm Tired, I Don't Feel Like Going Out...
Even Ask Him Go Out Eat With Us Also Difficult...
Den Dota Or Games Not Tiring La?
Going Out With Your Bro And His Gf Not Tiring La?

I Already Tried My Best To Tolerate Her Mum And Family Members Liaos...
I Never Even Kp Them Or What For The Sake Of Him...
Eat Already Plates And Everything Leave It There Like Got Maid To Serve Them...
Never Even Save Food For Me Sometimes And When I Reach Home...
Ended Up Eating Rice With Some Leftover Food Sauce...
Den Fine Ok Nvm...
Then Still Get Scoldings Everytime...
"Y Eat Already Plates Never Wash? Got Maid Help U Wash Ar?"
Hello? When I Don't Even Have Food To Eat Or I Never Eat Anything I Have To Wash?
Everything Also My Fault Anyway...

Dislike Going Out With His Bro And Gf...
Went Kbox The Other Time...
Me And My Bro Only Drink 1 Glass Of Coke That's All...
Ah Boy Only Drink 1 Glass Of Beer...
Then They Finished The Whole Jug Nvm...
Ordered Another Jug...
Then When Bill Comes...
Hey The Bill We Half Half...
WTF...Me And My Bro Never Even Drink Anything And Ah Boy Only Drink 1 Glass...
Y Must I Half Half With U?
Summore Me And My Bro Sit There See Show Nv Even Sing...
Ah Boy Sang A Few Songs Only...
And His Bro Gf Was Singing Most Of The Time...
If U B Fair To Me I Will B Fair To U...
If U R Nice To Me I Will B Nice To U...
That's What I Am...
Take It Or Leave It...

Saw Some Random Person Sms-ed Him...
In The Middle Of Night I Was Woken By His Hp...
Took A Glance Of Who It Is In Case Someone Looking For Him Urgently...
Saw That Message I Was Super Pissed...
The Msg Goes " I Miss U " ...
Ok It May Seem Like A Simple Msg And Means Nothing...
The Next Day The Same Person Send This...
The Msg Goes " Just To Send This Msg To Tell U That Im Waiting For U "
How Will A Normal Wife Respond?
Sure Question Him...
And What Did I Get In Return?
It Goes "Just A Normal Gaming Friend, I Don't Have Anything To Explain To U"..
Ok Fine I Admit I Was Pissed Off And Scolded Him Off That Night...
But The Next Day I Act As If Nothing Happen And Reconcile With Him...
And Guess What?
One Day I Returned Home...
Wanna Take His Hp To Call My Bro Urgently Cuz My Hp No Batt...
Before I Could Touch His Hp...
He Took His Hp Quickly And Quickly Started Deleting Things...
Who Wouldn't Suspect?
I Begin To Ask Him...
What Are U Hiding From Me?
The Only Response I Get Was...
Nothing...And He Screamed At Me Like It's My Fault...
Ok Fine I Dun Wanna Quarrel With Him...
I Took His Phone Wanna Call My Bro Then I Saw...
That Person Who Smsed Him That 2 Nights Called Him In The Afternn...
No Wonder He Was So Scared...
I Started Questioning Him Again And This Time Round He Dun Wanna Reply...
Den Fine I Took The Phone And Called My Bro...
And Guess What...?
He Looked At Me Nervously And Say,
"Who Are U Calling?"
Isn't It Obvious Enough?

I Don't Wanna Act As If Nothing Happen And Get On With This Already...
I Don't Think He's Serious When He Says "I Do" In ROM...
Im Tiring Of Acting...
Im Not Working In Mediacorps Or Hollywood...
I Don't Get Anything In Return Also...
If He Don't Seem To Love Me Now I Don't See Any Point Continuing Also...
Summore If Everytime We Quarrel And Talk...
If He Stop Doing Whatever It's Wrong...It's Still Ok...
But Everytime The Talks We Said...
He Repeatedly Do The Same Thing...
Like After That Gal Contact Her That Incident...
If He Stop Contacting That Gal Im Still Ok...
I Can Pretend That Nothing Happen...
But I Still See The Same Number Appearing In His Call Logs...
Smses Being Deleted Everytime In His Hp Like Destroying Evidence...
I Simply Cant Close 1 Eye Anymore...

I Gave Him Alot Of Chances To Explain Or Talk...
The Only Reply I Get From Him Was...
I Dont Have Anything To Tell U Or Explain To U...
Den Fine...I'll Just Take It As That...
Everytime We Quarrelled Even Though It's Not My Fault I'm Always Ending Up Talking To Him First...
Y Should I B?
And I Really Got A Limit...
If I Reach My Limit I Will Just Give Up...
And Once I Give Up I Won't Even Turn Back Anymore...
And The Limit Is Reaching...
I'm More And More Unhappy Each Day...
I Dun Even Feel Like Going Home Sometimes...
Cuz I Know Even If I Go Home No One Bothers Also...

I Got So Pissed Off To The Limit That I Actually Send An Email To Law Firm...
Asking Them The Terms And Condition Of Applying For Deed Of Separation...
I Really Had Enough...
If He Don't Care Anymore Y Shld I?
Even If He Says He Care...Is His Action Telling Me So?

I Married Him For Him To Love Me...
I Don't Think He's Doing It Anymore Now...
After 6 Months It's Already Liddat...
Im Really Afraid To See What Will Happen After 10 Years...
I Don't Really Have To Depend On Him Also...
I Can Just Move Back To My Own Home...
At Least I Know It's Home...
I Know That When I Go Home Someone Cares For Me...
Even Though My Mum Will Nag And Scold...
But She Really Cares...
The Only Reason Y I Still Haven't Moved Back Was...
Im Still Waiting For Miracle...
Im Still Waiting For Him To Come Back To Me...
Im Still Waiting For Him To Love Me Once More...
But If Things Still Won't Work...
I'll Only Have To End This...
Cuz I Know If My Dad Knows Everything...
There's No Turning Back...
My Dad Agreed For Me To Marry Him Was Hoping That He Will Love Me And Care For Me...
But If He's Not Doing That...
Nothing Matters Anymore...

Is It Me That Changed Or Him?
I Really Feel That I Dont Know Him Anymore...
In The Past I Will Still Bother To Talk To Him Even If It Seems That He Dont Feel Like Toking To Me...
But Now...Im Simply Dont Even Know What To Say To Him Anymore...
And It Also Seems That He's Not Really Interested Or Bothered At All...

It Seems That He's Living His Own Life And Im Living My Own...
It Became A Point That I Have To Do Things Myself, Face Problems Myself And It's My Life...
It Doesnt Really Matter To Him...
All He Did Was Having Full Of Complaints About Me...
For Not Working Etc...
But What About The Things I Did?
Did He Really Saw It Or Did He Really Appreciate?
It Became My Responsibility When It's Not...
Whenever I Tried To Explain To Him The Things I Did...
He Will Just Push It Aside Saying It's Nothing Compared To His Work Stress Etc...
Everything I Do Is Nothing...
Or Is That So?
Did He Really Know That Im Facing Much More Stress Than Him?
I Need To Handle His Stuff...I Need To Handle My Stuff...
I Need To Handle His Whole Family Stuff...I Need To Handle My Family Stuff...
It Feels Like The Whole Weight Is Lying On Me...
Sometimes I Just Feel So Helpless I Simply Break Out...
I Got No One To Confide To...I Got No One To Share My Stress With...

I Did Well They Say Nothing They See Nothing...
I Did Wrong They See Everything And Blame Me For Everything...
Im Really Tired And Stressed...
It Became That Everything Is My Responsibilities...
Even His Family...
So What Am I Really?
A House Maid Or Wife?
What I Get In Return?
Seriously I Dunno...

His Attitude Towards Me Is So Obvious That He Dont Care Anymore...
We're Not Talking With Each Other Anymore...
Even When He Reached Home And Never See Me Around...
He Wont Even Bother To Sms Or Call Me...
The Care Isnt There Anymore...
Or Is He Trying To Tell Me That Im Not Needed Here In His Life Anymore?

I Didn't Even Think Much About It..
Until When Others Outside Started Asking Me...
How Come U 2 Liddat...?Like Married Not Married Liddat...
Worse Still Not Even Like Couple...
Then I Ask Myself...Is Our Marriage Really Reaching The End?
I Kept Quiet Ever Since...
I Dont Feel Like Bringing Up All These Again...
Becasue Everytime Whenever Such Things Are Brought Up...
Everytime Everythings Ends Up To My Fault...
And Everything Will End Up To B The Same Again...
I Really Dont Wanna See Our Marriage End Juz Like This...
But All I Can Say Is...
Actually In My Heart Im Already Mentally Prepared...
I Can Sense That This Day Will Definitely Come...
Not I Give Him Up But Instead...He Will B The One...

All I Can Do Now Is Keep Getting Myself Ocupied With Doing My Own Things...
Everything Also Dont Think...
At Least Nowadays I Went Back Home...
I Saw My Own Family...I Saw My Own Home...
I Really Feel Like Im Home...
With No Problems And So On...
Really A Place Where I Can Rest...
Really A Place Where People Really Cares For Me...
Really A Place Where I Do Things And People Really Appreciate Everything I Did..
Especially When I Saw My Bro...
At Least I Know That He's There Everytime...
But I Took Too Long To Realise That....

Everytime I Look At Those Sweet Couples Out There...
Goin Out Together...Enjoying Together...
Im Starting To Think Back Of The Past...
In The Past He Will...But Now?
Not Anymore..Everything Juz Gone With The Wind...
The Only Thing I Feel That Im Married Is When I Saw The Ring On My Finger...
Will He Still Remember The Promise He Made On That Very Day And Take Care Of Me For The Rest Of My Life?
Or Is He Saying Just For The Sake Of Saying?
Other Than That...I Don't Feel The Love There At All...
Im Always Left Alone...